Dealing with Difficult Conversations

I had to deal with a difficult conversation recently.  I think the more you do it, despite how uncomfortable it can be, the better you get.  Here's a template that I've found useful for dealing with a difficult conversation:


Conversation opener:


Delivering the message:
  1. Situation (Describe the situation where the observed behavior occurred)
  2. Behaviour (Describe the facts and observed behaviours only)
  3. Impact (Share with the individual the impact of the behavior on you and/or on others.  Impact is what you or others experienced)
  4. Ask (Ask for their side - how do they view the situation?)
Anticipate reactions and responses (How might they respond?  What emotions are they likely to display?  How will you respond?  What will you do if you feel yourself getting emotional?)


How will I bring the conversation to a close?  (Examples: I'm glad that we've had this chance to discuss this issue, and I think that we've come up with some excellent ways of dealing with it.  Thank you for being open and honest with me throughout the conversation)


Next steps/Follow up:
What are the next steps to ensure the conversation is turned into action?  How and when will you follow up?




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